It's Not Easy Being Green

A few months ago, I had the privilege of taking part in a ladies’ event at church where we took this Colors personality test.  Briefly, there are 4 “colors” or “personalities” that one can be.  One is blue.  These are the people who cry and want to hug you all the time.  Then you have gold.  These people are the ones who are so “with it” and organized that they unconsciously make everyone else feel incompetent.  Another one is orange.  These people are the life of the party.  Then, there’s green.  These people have no feelings and would prefer to just be left alone.  That’s me.

So, for example, orange will come up with the great idea to have a party, then they’ll turn it over to a gold to plan the whole thing.  The blue person will probably get her feelings hurt that she wasn’t asked to help, and the green person hopes she doesn’t get an invitation.

Okay, to be fair (and so as not to offend anyone), I would like to say that I realize I am vastly over-simplifying these personality traits, and Marilyn Waldron would probably have something to say about my description of each personality, but I’m just giving you my interpretation.  (I can just hear April saying, “Now, that’s not exactly what she said, Caren.”  Yes, she’s gold.  Whatever.  You can Google it for a more technical description of each if you feel moved to do so.)  The point of the workshop is to teach us how to use our varying and God-given personalities to glorify God.  For me, it answered a lot of questions.  Questions like, “Why don’t I have tears?” and “Why do I so enjoy very large quantities of introspective alone time?” 

My friends who understand me are very special to me.  They don’t try to force me to be something I’m not, and they accept me, flaws and all.  They’ll never understand how much I appreciate that.  I have wonderful friends who I love and value but who I have never, ever called.  I simply find long phone conversations exhausting.  In fact, I believe God created e-mail, texting, and caller ID just for me.  This helps me avoid actually having to speak to anyone unnecessarily.  Yes, there are lots of times when I enjoy being with my friends and talking and laughing, but just know that when I get home from those times, I require some time to recharge.  Alone.  Quietly.  Like maybe for hours.  In the fetal position. 

I can still remember that last day of school before summer break every year.  It was always one of my most dreaded experiences, everyone crying and hugging because they wouldn’t see each other for a few months.  Then, of course, we’d have to come back from summer break and repeat the whole torturous process.  I say we all just agree that seeing each other after a 2-month break is not hug worthy.  Nor do I want to tell you about my entire summer or hear about yours.  I bet we spent them pretty much the same.  Let’s just assume we did.

Kevin really hates these personality tests.  He believes them to be pointless wastes of time.  And he really hates it when I refer to myself as my color.  Like when he tries to talk to me, and I answer by saying, “Please don’t talk to me.  I’m green.”  Or when he wants to know if I’m in a bad mood, and I say, “No, I’m green.  This is me being happy.”  I, personally, think this makes me the perfect wife.  Don’t men complain that their wives talk too much?  Kevin Davis can’t say that.  I rarely say anything.  Don’t men also complain that their wives are moody and emotional?  He can’t claim that either.  I have one mood and am rarely emotional.    

My personality does, however, create some disharmony when raising children who are clearly not green.  In fact, my children are the opposite of green.  They are whichever color cries a lot and talks a lot.  As a green, I understand neither tears nor talking.  Time in the car is particularly problematic.  My children like to carry on long, involved conversations with me in the car, and that is precisely where I do my best thinking.  Frequently, from the back of the van, I’ll hear a muffled voice say, “Mom, tell me a story.”  Most of the time, I resist the urge to say no, and I make an attempt to tell a story, which, of course, no one can hear over the din of the van.  So, I have to speak up, which is code for Leah to start trying to talk over me.  So, now I’m loudly trying to tell a story, while Leah is trying to out-talk me, and Hallie is yelling at her to be quiet.  It’s the stuff of nightmares for a green like me.  Often, I just turn the radio up and pretend that I don’t hear anybody saying anything, but that doesn’t always work either.  My children are very persistent.  I actually have to build in times in my day when nobody can talk to Mommy.  It’s really just one or two 5-minute periods in the day when my children can’t talk to me or ask me to do something for them, but it’s absolutely required for my sanity. 

Okay, so maybe my personality goes beyond just being “green.”  I’m willing to accept that I may also have some pretty pronounced anti-social behaviors, as well.  You can be sure that I won’t be seeking help for it anytime soon, though.  That would require talking about it.  As a wise frog once said, “It’s not easy being green.”